I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
They took my balls.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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