I'm so fucking centered right now
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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