Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
