youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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