You can't special order awesome
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
