call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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