i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
