When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I intend to get homeless drunk
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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