well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
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He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I will pee on everything he values.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
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I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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