When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
