this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize