That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
