There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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