she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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