well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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