Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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