So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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