Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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