so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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