I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
