Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
