You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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