After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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