You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
