I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
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