i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
