I cockslap morals
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My cat gives me a boner
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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