Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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