i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
