I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize