I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
