I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
