i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
