she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
