Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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