I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Still dying that you shit outside
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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