If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
