hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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