Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
