I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
