he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
