Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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