i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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