ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
