if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize