i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
