We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
