Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
