Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
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