I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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