Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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