I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
