idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
