It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?