I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me