Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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