I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
