Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
false alarm. still invincible.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
