yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
