my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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