Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
