i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
