Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
