So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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