Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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