is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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